


Not Just Any Frog

by CydSA



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-06
Updated: 2010-05-06
Packaged: 2017-10-09 08:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris kisses a frog, it turns into Adam</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Just Any Frog

Kris reckoned that he must have been pretty drunk to have brought the frog home with him.

As frogs go, it was a pretty cute little guy, blue and black and shiny. He'd put it in his empty fish tank in the corner of his lounge. The fish had died a long time ago, but he'd never actually emptied the tank so the rocks and algae and shallow water seemed kind of perfect.

Kris sat on his sofa, staring at the frog, trying to remember what the hell he'd been drinking last night. It had been Matt's birthday so a lot of alcohol had been involved. He'd been fine until everyone left and just he, Anoop and Matt had remained. He vaguely recalled Matt saying something about not letting the drinks go to waste.

He groaned and looked at the frog again. The bright black eyes watched him steadily, made him feel a little self-conscious which was seriously insane.

"What?" he asked defiantly, "It's not like I get fall down, stupid drunk every weekend." He was sure the frog was judging him.

It just stared quietly and then brrped, almost like a kitten and he grinned. "Man, that's so adorable," he said out loud and stood up to peer down into the tank. "Wonder what kind of frog you are," he mused to himself and Googled images on his phone.

"Fuck me," he said in astonishment. "You're a serious little dude," he declared, Wikipedia telling him that he'd acquired a Blue Poison Dart Frog.

"Brrrkkk," his frog said, head tilted slightly and Kris could have sworn the thing knew exactly what he was saying.

"So, you're like poisonous from your skin, huh?" he told the frog who made an agreeing noise. "And you eat bugs." He made a face, "I guess I'll have to find some for you."

The frog smiled, Kris would have sworn on his life that the freaking little blue guy smiled at him and made a little peep of delight.

"I suppose I should give you a name," he muttered and the frog's eyes widened. Kris stared at it suspiciously and suggested, "How about Blue?"

"Krrrrrkkk!" the frog growled and Kris took that as a no.

"Well, I can't exactly call you Frog forever, can I?" Kris asked exasperatedly and the frog beeped again.

"Fine, I'll start at 'A' okay, with guys names 'cause you're blue after all, and you can just stop me when you're happy with the name?" He felt like an idiot but started off anyway, "Abel?" silence "Aaron?" nothing "Adam?" The frog hopped off one stone into the water and then hopped back out again with a squeak and a whistle.

"Adam," Kris said again, just making sure and Adam made that little growling sound again. "Adam it is then," Kris stated and laughed as Adam leapt out of the tank to plaster himself on Kris' sleeve. "Whoa now, where do you think you're going?"

Adam scrambled up his arm and onto his shoulder and perched there with a "brrrkk" that sounded a lot like contentment.

"Okay, let's go and get some coffee, Adam." The little frog purred in his ear softly and Kris smiled as he headed to the kitchen.

Obviously, Adam had decided that Kris was worthy of him. He clung to Kris, climbing out of reach of his hands if he wanted to put him back in his tank. His favourite spot though was tucked up in the curve of Kris' neck where it met his shoulder. Kris came to think of it as Adam's place.

Adam was quite comfortable when Kris put the shower on. In fact, Kris was sure there was an extra gleam in those black froggy eyes when the rainfall showerhead went on for the first time. Kris learned to shower with Adam perched on his head pretty quickly. It made washing his hair an adventure.

The first time Matt saw Adam, he squealed like a girl and if there had been a chair to climb on, Kris reckoned he would have. "That's a….frog!" Matt had gasped with awful terror, pointing at the little guy clinging to Kris' neck.

"Yeah," Kris announced with a grin, "Matt, meet Adam," he poked a finger at Adam who put out one sticky pad and high-foured him, "Adam, this is Matt."

Matt was still staring in horror at Adam and he looked at Kris in bewilderment. "You couldn't get a dog like a normal human being?" he asked pathetically, colour pasty white.

Kris shrugged, "Give him a chance," he told Matt, "Adam is good times."

Adam chose that moment to snag a mosquito out of the air with a long pink tongue and Matt was fascinated despite himself. "Does he do that a lot?" he asked Kris, not taking his eyes off the frog.

Kris grinned, feeling like a proud father, "Yeah," he said, "Sometimes he catches flies too."

"Awesome," breathed Matt and held out a trembling finger towards Adam. The little frog flicked out his tongue again and Matt squeaked at the sticky soft texture. "Awesome," he repeated.

Kris liked having a frog as a pet. Adam was undemanding and easy to feed and he didn't make much mess. The only thing that seriously wigged Kris out was that he insisted on sleeping on his pillow each night. Kris would put him in the tank when he headed for bed and each morning would wake up to find the little guy on the pillow next to him, watching him.

It was Matt who came up with the fairytale of the princess and the frog.

"Dude, you have to read this story. It's like, epic and Adam is all freaky and knows things like the frog in here," he thrust a book of fairytales into Kris' hand and waved at the page he'd opened it at. "Seriously, I bet Adam is like the frog princess and if you kiss him, he'll like turn into this hot princess or something."

Kris wondered how much weed Matt had smoked that day.

"What the fuck are you talking about, man?" Kris asked and then Adam surprised him by leaping off his shoulder onto the book. Kris felt a cold shiver skitter down his spine when he saw that his little blue and black frog had perched on top of a picture of a frog in the open book.

"I'm telling you, dude, this frog of yours knows shit. I bet if you kissed it…" Matt trailed off when he saw Kris' face. "What?" he asked, "That frog totally understands me." He pointed at Adam who had shuffled around on the page until his lips were touching the lips of the pretty blond princess on the paper.

It seriously freaked him out. Little black eyes stared up at him unblinkingly. Kris thought Matt might actually have a point.

"And I have not smoked anything today," Matt looked at him loftily and Kris felt a twinge of remorse.

"Sorry man," he mumbled, "but you sound like you're high." Then he said, "Hey! I didn't say you were high!"

Matt glared, "You had that, 'oh fuck, Matt's smoked a bowl again' look in your eyes."

Kris nodded glumly, "Yeah, I probably did," he admitted.

"Brrbbkk!" Adam chirped insistently and Kris looked down again. The frog was still kissing the princess.

"I am not kissing you!" Kris told Adam, "You're poisonous and I'll die and you're a frog, for fuck's sake!" Kris wanted to check himself into a psychiatric hospital. He was talking to a frog. And expecting it to understand.

"Rrrrtt." Adam peeped mournfully and hopped back onto Kris' arm and dragged himself up to his spot at his neck.

Kris felt like he'd run over a puppy.

Matt had the same expression on his face. It translated weirdly from frog to human. "Dude," he said urgently, "you totally broke the little guy's heart!"

Kris went home, after telling Matt to stop reading fairytales and believing that they were non-fiction.

He woke up the next morning with Adam on his pillow, staring at him intently.

"You got to stop doing that!" he exclaimed, once his heart rate slowed down again. "It's not a nice to see first thing in the morning. You're freaking me out!"

Adam's eyes blinked once and he hopped off the pillow and trailed his way slowly to his tank.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Kris yelled exasperatedly after him, "You're a fucking frog!" He totally hadn't hurt Adam's feelings. He didn't have feelings to hurt. Right?

His mother called later that day when he was at work in his studio and he moved to the big bay window while he chatted to her.

"Mama, I am not putting my profile on BoyzforBoyz.com!" he told her with a scowl. "I can find my own boys, thank you very much!"

"When last did you go on a date, Kristopher?" his mother asked but he wasn't fooled by that sweet voice. His mama was a Rottweiler dressed up like a poodle.

"I go on dates," he said defensively and looked over at Adam who was perched on the biggest rock in the tank, eyes closed and blissfully soaking up the sun.

"In fact," he told her, giving himself a mental pat on the back, "I' have a date tonight, with a dude called Adam." He wasn't totally lying. Adam was a guy, he thought, and they had a date with his television and the Lethal Weapon marathon on the classic channel.

"Really?" his mother asked doubtfully and Kris was abruptly offended at her lack of trust, even though he was totally lying.

"Yeah," he insisted crossly, "really. Don't you believe me?"

With two sons Kim Allen was always prepared to triple check her facts. "Of course not, honey, but this is so out of the blue." Her voice softened but Kris wasn't taken in. "So tell me about this Adam."

Kris flailed internally for a moment and then looked over at Adam who was now staring straight at him and if Kris wasn't already sure he was crazy, he was being looked at very disapprovingly.

"Um, he's got black hair," Kris offered weakly and his mother made a noise of encouragement. Another brilliant thought occurred to Kris and he blurted, "Matt set me up on a blind date so I don't really know too much about him and with Matt being all hetero, he kind of wigged out on giving me details on the guy. Just told me he was hot."

Adam was totally glaring at him now and Kris mouthed a silent 'sorry' to him before he remembered that Adam was a fucking frog and dropped his head against the window frame and banged it there a few times.

"What is that noise?" his mother asked and Kris, having lied pretty much through his teeth for their entire conversation thought, what the hell, and said, "That was the door. Sorry, mama, gotta go." She barely got her goodbye out and he'd switched off his phone and stomped over to Adam.

"You," he pointed at the frog who gazed up at him unblinkingly, "need to stop judging me." He knew how crazy he sounded but the frog was driving him nuts. "I see you sitting there with your froggy eyes, watching me and thinking that I shouldn't lie to my mama."

"Brrrp?" asked Adam and hopped up onto his hand and then scuttled to his usual spot on Kris' shoulder. Kris poked at him, catching the top of his head with the tip of his finger. Adam tilted his head into the scratch and squeaked contentedly.

"Stop trying to distract me," Kris grumbled but grinned when the little guy cuddled up against him, "I'm trying to teach you some manners."

"Krrrk," Adam agreed and hunkered down comfortably.

Adam had been part of Kris' life for almost a month before Matt brought up the frog princess story again. Kris, having spent a month with Adam, had grown a little more inclined to agree with Matt that there was something rather special about the little dude.

They were drunk, mindlessly so and slumped on Kris' sofa, watching the Saturday game when Matt handed him the fairytale book again. "Read it, man, seriously, that shit is like a prophecy or something."

Kris sighed and took the book, looking at Matt, "Dude, Adam doesn't talk though."

Matt shrugged, "Little guy says it all with those eyes of his."

Adam peeped from his rock and Kris looked blearily over at him. "He does seem to understand what I say to him," he mused.

"Prrrrpp," Adam said and hopped off the rock and into the water and back onto the rock again. Kris got up and went to the tank, Matt close on his heels.

"He did choose his name," Kris added thoughtfully, looking down at the brightly coloured creature.

"Krrrppp!" Adam exclaimed and hurtled off the rock onto Kris' hand.

"That's like, the coolest, most awesome pet ever, dude," Matt breathed, "He totally understands you."

"Yeah," Kris murmured and wondered what it said about him that he had convinced himself that his pet frog understood what he was saying.

"Rrrrkk," Adam trilled and Kris lifted his hand up toward his face, bringing the frog to eye level.

"Princess huh?" he asked and could have sworn those little black eyes narrowed in anger. "Prince maybe?"

"Brrrp," Adam agreed and hopped forward, moving closer to his face.

"So if I kiss you then you become a prince?" Kris asked dubiously and felt himself going cross-eyed trying to focus on the frog.

"Brrrp," Adam said again and those froggy eyes become the sole focus of Kris' vision, trapping his eyes in black brightness.

"Go on," Matt whispered behind him, "Give him a kiss, man."

Kris glared at Matt over his shoulder. "We are both going to look like such morons when nothing happens," he growled.

"But if something does…" Matt murmured thoughtfully, "If it does…"

What the hell, Kris thought and leaned in, closed his eyes and put his mouth nearer to Adam. The little frog tiptoed forward and pressed its tiny face against his mouth and Kris felt ice move through him. He was frozen in place, held by a spell that he didn't understand.

He was instantly sober.

Then he was surrounded in heat and scent and he felt his head spin. His lips were being eaten by another set of lips that took his breath away. He opened his eyes and met bright blue eyes that danced with delight and joy and Kris thought that maybe he'd been hit on the head with something.

The guy he was kissing was beautiful, black hair, blue eyes, pale skin, tall and oh God, he was the most perfect thing Kris had ever seen. He knew he was staring, mouth opening and closing like a fish. He'd forgotten how to breathe.

He heard someone shouting and then realised it was Matt. "I was right! The frog was a fucking princess!" he was yelling and Kris pulled away from that mouth to watch his friend flailing around the room, arms wind milling in excitement.

"Prince," a soft voice corrected and Kris looked back and up until he met those eyes again.

"Adam?" he croaked and the soft pink mouth, lightly framed in brown freckles curved in a smile.

"Hi Kris," he said and Kris felt strong arms cuddle him in so that he found himself slotted along the front of the stranger's arms.

"You…um…frog…kiss…what?" Kris stammered and Adam's mouth widened even more as he started laughing.

"Wicked witch, spell, true love's kiss and all that," Adam said diffidently and raised a black eyebrow.

Kris noted absently that the jet black hair was streaked with the same bright blue of his eyes and frog-Adam's skin.

"Huh," he managed and then smiled back at the gorgeous face beaming down at him. "True love?"

"That's all you got from that?" Adam enquired, still smiling.

"Is anything else important?" Kris asked him, feeling remarkably Zen.

Matt had passed out on the sofa from the shock of being right for the first time in his life.

"No," Adam agreed, "But we should probably try kissing again, it might not be true love after all." He leaned down and kissed Kris once more, stealing the breath right out of his mouth.

He tasted like strawberries and chocolate and sunlight. Kris wanted to eat him alive. In the most sexual way possible.

Kris thought about pointing out to Adam that, 'hey, spell broken, so probably true love', but then thought, 'oh!' and didn't really do much thinking after that except one random thought that he had totally not lied to his mama after all.

He did have a date with Adam and Matt had been the one to get them together.

Matt was never going to let him forget this.


End file.
